Let me start this post by admitting I am the worst when it comes to managing stress. My family and friends literally can’t handle it – I become a total doomsday individual – pessimistic, anxious, highly irritable, and prone to bursts of tears.
Take for example, a job interview: I’ll study and prepare for weeks, and consider any time I’m not prepping, ‘wasted.’ I’ll prioritize prepping over exercising, hobbies, going out – which is fine….to an extent!
I also stress about small things such as getting an oil change or running an errand somewhere unfamiliar (pathetic, but I can’t be the only one) when let’s be honest, people do these kinds of things every day, and it’s really not that big of a deal.
Why am I the way that I am? I care, clearly (perhaps too much) and think too much of the future with a negative mindset – as if I’m a fortune teller who can already predict the worst case scenario.
Why do we stress? We’re scared. We fear the unknown, and are anxious that the worst will happen when dealing with The Stressor. But if you’re planning to live a long time, you know stressful things will happen now and then and you need to be able to deal with them without going bonkers.
I still have issues with stress but I’ve started incorporating some habits to avoid as many emotional breakdowns as I can. Here are some things I’ve learned:
- And this is the most important one – LEAVE THE HOUSE
Under no circumstances when you are stressed about something should you stay home 24/7, mulling over what you’re stressed about. Whether it’s a health issue, a work project, a job interview, or an upcoming event, ensure you’re not holing up inside like you’re Jack Nicholson in The Shining. Once a day, leave the house. Run an errand, go for a short walk, or stand outside in the backyard. A change of scenery will refresh you mentally and emotionally, and you may see things more clearly every time you return home.
- Remember about the rest of your life
I like to focus on one thing at a time but only when I’m stressed. The Stressor becomes my obsession. I can’t clean or work on a hobby – no, no, all my time must be used to worry about The Stressor. This is horrible! You need to do things – things that need to be done, things that bring you joy, anything but 24/7 stress patrol. If you’re stressed about something like work or an interview, allot yourself time to work/prep but also ensure you’re taking care of yourself: talk to a loved one, do a chore, read a book or do a puzzle, get some movement in. Remember that eventually The Stressor will be over, and you won’t have wanted to waste so much of your time on it!
- Expel the stress
Talk. To. Someone. Do not keep everything huddled inside you, anchoring you as you go about your day. Talk to your partner, a friend, or someone in your family about what you’re going through. The minute you expel even a tidbit of what’s going on, you’ll feel lighter. Why? You’re dumping a bit of the load onto someone else. What you’ve told them is no longer a heavy secret – it’s out there. The more you talk about it, the more insight and comfort you’ll get from others as well! If you can’t/won’t talk to anyone or still don’t feel good, write it out. Jot down what you’re stressed about and why. What’s the worst case scenario? How could this affect you in the future? Then write the best case scenario. Again, writing it out is unleashing the stress – it’s not just in you anymore, it’s on paper. You’ve released it!
- Reward yourself
Have something to look forward to. If you’re stressed about an appointment, interview, event, or work project, promise yourself you’ll get a treat once it’s done. This way, you’ll be happy to face your stressor, knowing there’s treasure on the other side. That’s right, I bribe myself and treat myself like a child – you do what you gotta do.
- Learn from the past
If you’re stressing about a job interview after already having at least one interview before in your life, remind yourself: it’s okay. I survived this experience before and I can do it again. Think about things you were so worried about before and compare it to your current stress – is it possible you’re exaggerating how concerned you need to be? Probably. And if there’s one thing that always helps me when I’m down, it’s that somewhere out there, someone has once been through what I’ve been through.
All of these things are easy to say, but harder to action when it comes down to managing stress. All you can do is your best, and remember that things could always be worse. And next time you’re stressed, remind yourself I’ve been there too.